A Rather Peculiar Performance of Beauty and the Beast
by MonkeyJb1988
Summary: When 2 cartoons discovered the truth about Disney World, they set out to expose the truth. Will they succeed or cause mayhem? (Actually not set in Beauty and the Beast; let me just say this story features a varied cast :) ).
1. Where All Stories Start

Chapter 1: Where All Stories Start

There were two cartoon people in Walt Disney World.

That must sound like such a weird sentence. Of course there are cartoon people in Disney World and much more than two. There's Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Pluto, Donald, Daisy, Chip, Dale…

I get it, I get it. You're thinking of the Disney characters who are normally there and are actually just enthusiastic people in costumes. If you didn't know that, then I lied; the characters that take pictures with you and sign your autograph book are the real deal. If fact, you may not like this story and probably would prefer to read something else. Go ahead, you may leave.

…

For the rest of you, yes, the characters are just people wearing costumes. Now, mind you, their intent is not trick people. Their goal is to entertain children and allow them to pretend they're playing with their favorite characters (and earning a paycheck; hey, even players need to eat).

Nobody told that to the cartoon people I was referring to earlier.

Fitzgerald, a 18 year old beagle, and Alanna, an robot orangutan older by Fitzgerald by a solid 14 minutes and 23 seconds, were huge fans of the characters you see in Disney films. You see, those characters were real (cartoon) people and are seen as stars in the cartoon world as someone in the human world see George Clooney or Sandra Oh, actors with plenty of roles in films and theater not seen in the human world (Donald, for example, was a star of opera. One of his most critically acclaimed roles was for his role in the opera _L'anatra Combattendo_). Fitzgerald and Alanna desperately wanted to meet one of these stars but it's not quite so easy to meet them due to their schedules and their desire to live their own off-screen lives, not to mention that crowds tend to form wherever those Disney stars are seen. Granted, there's kidnapping, but that's not generally considered a polite way of meeting people (I personally have never seen a kidnapping that's taken into account whether the kidnapped party had plans that day or not) so the two friends just lived their lives, being good people and not intentionally causing mayhem, and kept their ears and eyes open for an opportunity to present itself.

That opportunity supposedly came when, just aimlessly surfing the internet one day, Fitzgerald came across a page for Walt Disney World. Intrigued, he read on. He read about the rides, attractions, and other fun stuff there. What caught his eye, however, was that guests could meet Disney characters in the park.

Fitzgerald bought tickets for him and Alanna almost instantaneously for Disney Hollywood Studios. He then realized that he had no idea whether Alanna could or wanted to go. Thankfully, it turned out that she would've been offended if he hadn't. That weekend, they were on their way.

The security guard needed a second when she saw a beagle, walking on his hind legs as well as a human, and a robot orangutan walk up to her line seemingly out of a cartoon show. She recovered and did her job as well as she's ever done. She checked both bags, seeing nothing unusual in Fitzgerald's save for a couple of dog biscuits, but she was almost shocked when she saw Alanna's bag filled with dark pink metal and mechanics.

"Ma'am, what's in this bag?" the security guard asked.

"Parts to build a helicopter." Alanna said.

"Why do you have parts to build a helicopter?" the security guard asked.

"Because it's too awkward to carry a built one." Alanna said, believing that should've been obvious.

I did say the security guard was _almost_ surprised, so she let them through. As they left, she heard Fitzgerald explain to Alanna that most humans, in fact, did not carry helicopters to Alanna's obvious surprise. Rolling her eyes, the security guard radioed to her supervisor.

"Be advised, two cartoons are coming in the park." the security guard said.

"Crap." her supervisor replied. "Things are gonna get weird."


	2. Was It Add 10 Pounds Or 3 Feet?

Chapter 2: Was It Add 10 Pounds Or 3 Feet?

Fitzgerald and Alanna took Disney Hollywood Studios in, turning their heads every which way until their necks were sore (it helps to move your body for extreme head turns).

"We're here." Fitzgerald said with a manic glee. "We're actually here."

"What do we even do first?" Alanna said. "They got rides, shows… hey, they have a show of _Beauty and the Beast_. We're so doing that."

"Keep an eye out for Mickey or anyone walking around." Fitzgerald said.

"Excuse me, Mr. Doggie and Miss. Monkey." a voice from behind them said. The two cartoons turned around to see a 3 year old girl behind them. "I'm going to see Goofy and Donald. You want to wait in line with me?"

"Heck yeah!" Fitzgerald and Alanna said and they joined the little girl, whose name was Karen, and her parents in line.

"My name's Fitzgerald, but you can call me Fitz." Fitzgerald said.

"I'm Alanna, and I'm a robot orangutan." Alanna said.

"Orung-a-tam. Orange-am-can. O-rang-do…"

"You know? Monkey is fine." Alanna said with a smile.

The line was long, but not terribly so. Fitzgerald and Alanna actually expected a longer line, so they were content… and excited, hopping with Karen in their excitement. They eventually came to the end of the line, which was precisely the point where Fitzgerald and Alanna got confused.

Donald and Goofy weren't there. All there were was someone dressed as a duck and another person dressed as a dog. The costumes seemed familiar but the cartoons only glanced at them before looking for their heroes.

"Hey, Karen, you sure we're in the right line?" Alanna asked. She turned in time to see Karen run to the duck-costumed person, where they exchanged hugs. "You know that person?"

"It's Donald, you silly monkey." Karen said.

This almost floored Fitzgerald and Alanna. They took a closer a look and realized the costumes did look like Donald and Goofy… or were they actually Donald and Goofy?

"Was the saying "the camera adds 10 pounds" or was it "the camera adds 3 feet?" Fitzgerald whispered.

"It was totally the pounds one." Alanna said as she took a cautious step towards "Donald".

Whoever it was, they were friendly. They immediately hugged Alanna and Fitzgerald when they came forward. They signed the cartoons' autograph books and stood with them as the assistant took a picture of the three. As this all happened, the cartoons secretly checked this person. The results were not good: what should've been feathers was some sort of cloth. The face made no movements even when Alanna "accidentally" bumped the beak. When the picture was being taken, Fitzgerald flicked his ear so it would touch the eye. Nothing. However, something happened that made Fitzgerald and Alanna's findings minor footnotes.

Or rather, what didn't happen.

"So Donald, can you sing your favorite song from _L'anatra Combattendo_?" Fitzgerald asked. Fitzgerald expected the imposter to fumble and sing the wrong song (Donald's favorite, translated, is "Do Not Eat The Love Of The World"). What he didn't expect was the imposter scratching his head.

"Uh, what's that?" the assistant asked.

"The opera Donald starred in." Fitzgerald said.

"Oh, that. Yeah, Donald rather not talk about that." the assistant said with a smile. "Donald" covered his eyes and swayed like his singing was an embarrassment.

Fitzgerald nearly pulled out his iPod to play the cast recording, specifically "Do Not Eat The Love Of The World", to show how freakin' wrong they both were. He wanted more: to rip the duck mask off the imposter Donald, imposter Goofy, and every other imposter in the park, for he knew there had to be more. For a reason he didn't know, Alanna pulled him towards what they all but knew was an imposter of Goofy, got autographs and pictures and walked to an empty bench.

"What was that for?" Fitzgerald asked vehemently. "It's bad enough I got the autograph from one imposter. Why did we get both?"

"I knew what you were thinking." Alanna said. When Fitzgerald made a sound to ask, she continued. "I was ready to do the same thing. If we pulled their heads off… the costume heads, not the real ones, that'd be icky… they and their attendants would just say we did some Disney magic. Even if they didn't, the kids would start crying, thinking we did something horrible. They have to see the truth on their own."

"Well, how do we do that?" Fitzgerald asked. "Kids are smart fart-makers, but a little help's not gonna hurt anyone."

"We have to show the difference between the fake cartoons and real cartoons."

"How?"

…

"Good question." Alanna said, putting her hand on her chin to think just as Karen came over.

"We're going on Toy Story Mania. Come with us." Karen said with a smile.

"Uh, we were… uh… going to ride on another… ride… machine… thingy." Fitzgerald stammered (although Toy Story Mania was one of the rides he was most excited for).

"Oh, well, how about the Beauty and the Beast show?" Karen asked.

"You don't want to hang around with us today. We actually…

"Would love to see it with you. When are you going?" Alanna asked as she clamped Fitzgerald's mouth shut.

"Why did you say we'd go?" Fitzgerald asked as Alanna came back. "I just saw two people clearly not Chip and Dale, I really doubt the real stars of Beauty and the Beast will be there."

"Why do you doubt?" Alanna said. "We're going to bring them here."


	3. Time To Light The Lights

Chapter 3: Time To Light The Lights

The security guard who looked through Fitzgerald and Alanna's bags earlier in the day was not shocked when she saw the dark pink helicopter rise from Disney Hollywood Studios and was only mildly curious when it came back only an hour later.

"You ready to party?" her supervisor asked over the radio?

"When it comes to real cartoons here? Never." she replied.

Karen looked around quickly one more time. _Beauty and the Beast_ was about to start and her new friends weren't there.

"Alanna said they might miss it." her mom said. "They wouldn't want you to not enjoy the show because they can't."

Although disappointed, Karen settled into her seat just as the music started.

Karen loved the show. Although it was shorter than the movie, none of the songs were missing and Karen belted out the songs as the performers sung them (giving the family in front of her a nice surround sound experience). As the cast took their bows, Karen contributed to the standing ovation and even gave them a jumping ovation. As the curtain went down, parents went to grab their kids and take them to their next destination, figuring the show was over. Hence, the surprise when a brief scuffle was heard from backstage and a voice came through the loud speaker. To Karen's delight, it was Alanna's.

"Did everyone enjoy the show?" Alanna's voice asked.

A cheer came from the audience.

"Well, how would anyone like an encore?"

A stunned silence came for a moment but ended by most of the kids in the audience cheering and answering yes.

"If you have time, stick around for another show and be amazed at a vastly improved stage experience."

No one left, even those with reservations at restaurants. _This show was already great_, the audience though. _Let's see how they can improve it._

From backstage, Alanna can see no one leaving. _Excellent_, she thought.

"We are glad you could sta… I mean, 'be our guest'." Alanna said to laughter. "We just ask that, if anything seems… different, please allow the show to finish and write your thoughts on comment cards on the back."

"And now, let us begin."

"A long time ago in a faraway kingdom, there was a prince who lived in a shiny castle. Although he had everything he ever desired, the Prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind."

The opening narration continued, but most of the audience didn't hear it. There were too many "ohs", "what thes", and just gasps of surprise and amusement.

For the person playing the Prince was none other than Donald Duck.

To be fair, Donald played the part as well the human who did it previously, looking genteel, poise, and dramatic… which is why it was so freakin' hilarious. Anyone who hadn't laughed before when he was revealed defintely laughed when Donald underwent the transformation into the Beast (cast by a robot orangutan sorceress who looked very familiar to Karen and her parents), going from a duck dressed as a prince with a ponytail into a duck in tattered blue pants, a purple cape, fangs, and a wig that looked like the child of an afro and mullet.

As Donald came backstage after his turn, Fitzgerald saw that he seemed upset. Donald met his eyes.

"How bad was it?" Donald asked.

"Not at all." Fitzgerald said. "And before you ask, no, I don't know why they were laughing. Maybe they just came from Epcot."

Anyone who had doubts about staying were now glad they did and everyone awaited the next mix and match Disney character to come. Some wondered how you can top a temperamental duck playing a ferocious Beast.

As it turns out, a lioness and dwarf playing Belle… at the same time.

It started innocently enough, with Nala starting the "Belle" song as well as Belle or anyone who played Belle on Broadway. That ended the moment the rest of the (human) cast joined in.

Two things were apparent:

1.) Whoever planned on including Nala wanted her walk on two legs for the role.

2.) Lionesses can't walk on two legs, even with assistances from a dwarf.

Hence Dopey, dressed as Belle like Nala, propping Nala up so she could walk upright. This would seem ingenious… if Dopey was walking the same pace as Nala. A dwarf running and dancing while trying to balance the top half of a lioness who is barely keeping upright despite the assistance does not make for the best solution.

The audience didn't care and applauded every time Dopey managed to keep Nala from falling on her face. They barely noticed "Gaston" walking swiftly and dramatically on stage… wait, no; more like skipping along on stage. Hey, that's what Winnie the Pooh thought of when Fitzgerald told him Gaston walks like he's the greatest thing on the planet.

Unlike Donald and Nala, Pooh was so not right for the part of Gaston. Where Gaston was rude and conceited, Pooh was polite and just generally a good bear. From the side, Alanna had to silently make Pooh go to Belle he took more interest in the three girls singing his praise. As he would tell the others back stage, they were very convincing when they said that he (Pooh/Gaston) "was so cute."

"Bonjour Gaston." Nala said when the song ended and her scene with Gaston began.

"Uh, Nala, I'm Winnie the Pooh." the bear of very little brain said.

It's quite possible to facepalm when you have a paw. If it's not, I have no idea what Fitzgerald did while Alanna facepalmed herself. Nala held back laughter, which became easier to do when Dopey started laughing and wasn't holding the stick steady.

"Pooh, take the book and say your lines." Nala whispered.

Pooh tried to do so, but the book was impaled onto Nala's claws, as she couldn't hold it otherwise. Setting the stick to stand, Dopey helped Pooh to get the book off.

"Nala… I mean Belle… this book has no pictures." Pooh said.

"Some people use their imagination." Nala said.

"That's well and good, but I can't read." Pooh said. "How about you read loud and I'll imagine."

That got the biggest laugh so far and Pooh felt confident he was acting fairly well.

Fitzgerald and Alanna were five seconds away from teaching the good little children some fancy new words.

It was quickly time for the "Be Our Guest" number and with it, the debut of Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, and Chip. More specifically, it was the debut of Olaf the snowman as Lumiere, Baloo the bear as Cogsworth, Perdita the Dalmatian as Mrs. Potts, and Roz the slug monster as Chip. All wore costumes making it clear who played who.

"A girl's in the castle." Roz/Chip said with as much enthusiasm as you would use when talking about a root canal. "And she's as hairy as the Master."

"She's our guest." Olaf/Lumiere said. "We have to make her feel welcome."

"Well then, let's do it right." Baloo/Cogsworth said.

And that is how, for the first time ever, "Be Our Guest" became a duet between Lumiere and Cogsworth. Olaf didn't mind, dancing and singing with Baloo.

It soon became a dance party on stage, with the human cast (only still there because Alanna and Fitzgerald couldn't find more Disney cartoons), coming on stage and doing their routine around Baloo and Olaf. The audience applauded, which made the dancing more upbeat. Soon, Dopey was joining in which made things turn frightening for Nala.

"_Course… by… course_

_One by one_

_Until you shout 'Enough, I'm stuffed'_

_Then we'll sing you off to sleep_

_as you digest_

_Tonight you'll prop your feet up_

_but for now, let's eat up_

_Be our guest_

_Be Our Guest_

_Be Our Guest_

_Please BE OUR… GUEST!"_

At that finale, every stood in a grandiose pose, with their arms thrown up. Dopey's arms were also up and his hands were empty since he threw his stick away.

He realized, as Nala landed on her nose on top of him, that he shouldn't have done that.


	4. Break A Leg… Not Literally!

Chapter 4: Break A Leg… Not Literally!

Donald came on stage just as the humans and Dopey left the stage, although Dopey didn't have say about whether he could stay or not (Nala's paw did). Donald roared as fiercely as possible, which came across as rapid quacking.

"I thought I told you never to come here." Donald shouted in the face of a lioness now in a foul mood.

_RROOOOAAAAARRRRR_

Donald froze and unintentionally laid an egg in fear.

"I mean, if you hadn't frightened me, I wouldn't have run away." Nala said, trying to cover for her lapse.

It was too late. Donald couldn't move. Seeing this, Fitzgerald (having just been an unwilling landing pad for Dopey), ran quickly on stage. Being a cartoon, he was able to run fast enough to not be seen… although the audience could see the lump and dog tail now under the Beast's cape.

"Well, you shouldn't have been in the West Wing." Fitzgerald said, lifting the frozen Donald and shoving him into Nala's face.

_RRROOOOOAAAAARRRRR_

Fitzgerald laid an egg and froze in fear. Now Alanna ran in and hid under the Beast's cape. It was painfully, yet hilariously, obvious to the members of the audience what was going on.

"I apologize." Alanna in the worse gruff voice ever. As Nala accepted the apology, Alanna bit Donald's tail. He let out a yelp and jumped in the air, but the dog and robot orangutan had already made it back stage.

"Well, that's going well." Fitzgerald said as the two got the chorus ready for the "Kill the Beast!" number.

"Please tell me you're being facetious." Alanna said.

"No. Granted, it could be better, but it's not like it's a disaster." Fitzgerald said. Alanna didn't agree, if the dope slap she gave him was any indication.

"I don't want to play Gaston anymore." Winnie the Pooh said. Fitzgerald and Alanna got weak-kneed hearing that.

"And why, may I ask, do you want to back out now when it's too late to find another Gaston?" Fitzgerald said through clenched teeth.

Before Pooh could answer, yelling from the audience could be heard.

Someone had accused Donald of lip-synching. Someone was now in a fistfight with a duck in a goofy wig.

Alanna ran into the audience, trailing Baloo, to break up the fight, leaving Pooh and Fitzgerald together.

"I don't want to play Gaston because I don't want to kill anyone." Pooh said.

"Pooh, it's part of the show. It won't be permanent." Fitzgerald said, more gently but still stressed.

"Really, because I don't remember any sorceress in the cast and I'm fairly certain Donald's not under any spell."

"Bwackackackackack. How'd you like my footprint on your butt?!" Donald yelled.

"Demon possession, on the other hand…" Pooh said.

"Pooh, just finish the show, then we'll talk." Fitzgerald said. "Here's your dagger for the scene."

Pooh took the prop while Fitzgerald took care of another actor's scarf. Pooh sighed and tried to take his mind off what he had to do very soon. Neither he nor Fitzgerald realized, when Fitzgerald was getting the props, that he had actually grabbed a real dagger.

"Pooh, get out there." Alanna said, struggling with Baloo to get Donald back stage while the duck shot verbal tirades at his lip-synching accuser.

The "Kill the Beast" number went without a hitch (surprisingly). The humans did battle with the cartoons and left, leaving Donald Duck and Winnie the Pooh locked in an epic life or death battle (Bet that's a sentence you never thought you'd read. )

"It's over Beast. Belle is mine… if you please." Pooh said. Something flicked his ear and he knew Fitzgerald didn't like his change.

Donald covered and grabbed Pooh's shirt, lifting him off the ground (don't be impressed; babies lift bears stuffed with fluff all the time), and roared… er, quacked. He dropped Pooh and went to embrace Nala/Belle when she came. Pooh tried to exit the stage but Fitzgerald pointed him back out.

Alanna watched the proceedings with a small smile. _Fitzgerald's right, the show's going good_ Alanna thought. She watched, as the music swelled, Pooh going towards Donald with his dagger raised.

That was when a sensor went off. She studied the readings and her stomach dropped, which is something because she wasn't built with one.

"Fitz, you did make sure you gave Pooh a rubber dagger, right?" Alanna hissed, her voice box set to Fitzgerald's walkie talkie's frequency.

"Alanna, really." Fitzgerald said, offended. "Of course I che… uh, I think I di… ummm… didn't I?"

Alanna rechecked her readings. She did equations and simulations at the speed of light in her computer brain and one answer came:

_Dead Duck_

And Pooh was only two steps away from Donald.

Pooh closed his eyes, tears streaming down his face and he sunk the blade into…

a titanium/steel skin, shattering the dagger.

Pooh looked up and saw it was no longer Donald playing the Beast in front of him. It was Alanna, wearing a duplicate costume and (over)acting having been stabbed.

Before Pooh can figure out what had been done, a long cane from the wings and pulled Pooh away. Backstage he saw the rest of the cast and crew present. Fitzgerald stepped around Donald, in a heap from being shoved off stage, and came to Pooh.

"Did you think actors really die when their characters died?" Fitzgerald asked.

"I assumed that was the basic principal." Pooh said.

"Pooh bear… no one was meant to die." Fitzgerald said.

"Oh." Pooh said. "OHH! That makes acting much more fun. I can't wait for the next performance." Pooh said with a smile.

Fitzgerald patted Pooh's head, feeling fairly certain he himself wouldn't be around for the next performance due to a severe headache he was going to get from banging his head on something.

Alanna, being a cartoon, was able to change from being Beast to being the Sorceress behind the curtain that was used to switch from the Beast to the Prince. She performed her dance while Fitzgerald got Donald behind the curtain (throwing counts, right?), where he was able to change into his Prince costume. Donald and Nala hugged, as part of the show, and the show ended peacefully.

Wow, you believed that? You obviously haven't been reading carefully.

Donald and Nala still had their waltz, a dance meant for two people with two legs each. Nala and Donald had difficulties until Dopey returned with Nala's support stick… which made things worse, as Donald was hanging from Nala's paws four feet in the air while Nala had to contend once again with keeping up with Dopey. Their final costume change didn't come quick enough and the human dancers took over so they could change. Despite the Enchanted Objects not being on stage until the curtain call, Baloo waltzed with Perdita and Olaf with Roz. Soon, the dancers parted to reveal Donald, Nala, and Dopey in their final costumes coming forward. With them in place, the cast began the final refrain to "Beauty and the Beast".

At that point, the stick Dopey was using to hold Nala up broke, taking everyone out, human and cartoon alike. It was such a tangle of limbs that they tried to untangle, no one was singing like they were supposed to. Fitzgerald and Alanna were mortified.

"Pooh, Fitzgerald, you two just got parts in a trio." Alanna said as she grabbed the bear and beagle and ran on stage. The three of them finished off the song and show as the curtain went down. Everyone else got untangled and were standing for their final bows just as the curtain rose. Nala was firmly on all fours with no stick and no patience to do a two leg stance.

The applause was deafening. Everyone clapped and cheered for what was likely the most unique performance of _Beauty and the Beast_ ever. They cheered as Donald handed a rose to a little girl dressed as a princess and the cheering continued as the curtain lowered.

As the curtain came down, the angriest roar boomed from behind it, followed by sounds of absolute mayhem.


	5. Why?

Chapter 5: Why?

"That was the most painful experience of my life, and I gave birth to 15 pups."

"Whiner, I had to walk on two legs with nothing but a doofy dwarf as support."

"We couldn't let you walk on all fours. Belle walks on two legs."

"BELLE WASN'T A LION!"

"I almost killed Donald."

"WHAT?! Bwackackackackack!"

"I'm leaving before things get weird… er."

"Is now a bad time to talk about the next performance?" Fitzgerald asked quietly.

"YES!" said everyone but Baloo, Dopey (not that he ever talks), Olaf, and Roz (on account of the being the one who left to avoid more weirdness).

"Can I be Lumiere next?" Baloo asked. "He has more pizazz than Cogsworth."

"Absolutely not." Olaf said. "You naturally give off heat. Let me be the candelabra."

It was at this point Dopey started miming something. It took a moment for everyone to realize what he wanted: he wanted to be the main Belle and Nala be the support.

"That's absolutely fine." Nala said gently. What she said next wasn't gentle: "If these jackalopes even suggest I do another performance, I'm going to tear their heads off!"

"Go ahead and try." Alanna said.

"Speak for yourself, she'd succeed on mine." Fitzgerald said, taking the moment to scoot away from the angry lioness.

"Come on. Everyone loved you guys." Alanna said. "I bet when we read those cards, everyone's gonna say you were better than the human performers who went on right before you."

If Alanna though this would smooth things over, she was wrong. She was so wrong, she'd be stoned to death by nuns and puppies for that wrongness.

"You said the regular cast got a stomach bug and couldn't perform." Nala said.

"I was told they hadn't eaten and needed to right away." Pooh said. "I can relate."

"They told me they got abducted by aliens." Perdita said.

"How about them deciding they preferred Universal." Baloo said.

All the Disney cartoons looked at Alanna and Fitzgerald, waiting for a response. If Alanna could feel the sweatiness of a paw, she would've felt Fitzgerald's. He look to her and, in her gaze, he remembered why they both went through the trouble.

"We kidnapped you" Fitzgerald said. "And you're welcome, by the way. Remember, we asked if you had plans today before we kidnapped you. Anyway, we discovered the truth about Disney World, that you got people dressed like you, tricking everyone."

"We figured on exposing by showing humans how real cartoons perform." Alanna said. "We didn't tell you because we figured that if you allowed people to act like you in your stead and they were already here, you wouldn't be persuaded to come here."

The Disney cartoons either rolled their eyes, face-palmed, or just generally looked annoyed.

"Again." Nala muttered. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Surprised?" Alanna asked. "What are you talking about?"

Nala looked up and was about to answer when she saw something behind Alanna and Fitzgerald. "I think they can answer better than me." she said with a smirk.

Alanna and Fitzgerald turned around, the last thing they saw being two burly cats in suits grabbing them.

Alanna and Fitzgerald were dumped into a spacious office. It was well-lit with light brown walls and a very light blue carpet. As they looked around they saw a bunch pictures and memorabilia. As they got a closer look at the pictures, they saw that most of them contained Mickey Mouse.

Alanna and Fitzgerald looked at each other in amazement, each figuring on the same idea:

_This is Mickey's office._

That thought left their minds when they saw that there were no Mickey Mouse items. No figurines, no mouse hats, and only one life sized doll sitting at the desk… at least if they made dolls that had a 'scratch its nose' function. They don't; that was…

"Mickey Mouse." the two cartoons whispered in awe.

Mickey heard them and looked up. He got up and walked around the desk towards them.

"How are you?" Mickey asked.

Alanna and Fitzgerald answered by asking for his autograph and getting their picture with him (taken by one of the guards).

"I know you think we're being dishonest with using people in costumes as us Disney stars." Mickey said when that was out of the way.

"How did you know…?" Alanna asked while Fitzgerald just stood there, open jawed.

"Because you guys are not even close to being the first cartoons to come to Walt Disney World. You guys aren't the first to be appalled by what's going on. I know; Me and my friends were the first, when Disneyland opened."

Alanna and Fitzgerald's eyes grew wide at the revelation.

"If you guys were appalled back then, then why…?" Fitzgerald started to ask.

"We didn't know Walt had people in costumes of us until opening day. When we did, whoo-ee, did we let him have it. We made a vow to never mention what Snow White said that day, but I will tell you that a sailor was there and he thought it was excessive. We told Walt we thought it was dishonest and argued against it. Then Walt told us his reasoning, that he never intended to be dishonest. Disneyland, and Disney World when the it came, were meant as lands of make-believe. He wanted kids to imagine playing with who they believe are their friends… not that us being their friends is incorrect, we just can't be at a theme park 24/7."

"So that's why there are people dressed as us. We're not huge fans of the idea but little kids love it, older kids love it, and adults love it and two of those groups know the truth."

Fitzgerald and Alanna sat there for a few moments, taking Mickey's words in. Finally, Fitzgerald spoke.

"We're jerk masters."

"No you're not." Mickey said. "You thought you were righting wrongs. I personally think we should just tell cartoons the Disney stars aren't really there, but I've seen how some cartoons have reacted. You guys handled it better than most."

Alanna and Fitzgerald smiled when he said that. Mickey then reached under his desk and took out the ballot box the two have set up.

"Now, here are the thoughts you asked the audience for about your performance of Beauty and the Beast." Mickey said. "You can check them for yourselves. Most of them preferred the regular Beauty and the Beast show, but almost all of them either said it was a great parody or were more simple and just thought it was funny as hell."

Alanna and Fitzgerald facepalmed, but were glad they didn't cause any death and destruction. (well, don't you feel good when you go through a day without causing death and destruction?) Just then, though, a thought came to Fitzgerald.

"Where are the Disney characters we kidnapped?" he said. "If they're still in Disney World…"

"They'll be fine." Mickey said with a smile.

Karen, her family, and the seven unique new friends they made were enjoying lunch at Pizza Planet while they decided what to do afterwards.

"So where do you want to go next?" Karen's father said.

"Rockin Roller Coaster." Karen shrieked, bits of pizza flying from her mouth in excitement, hitting Roz in the face. She didn't mind: pizza bits with saliva were actually pretty tasty to monsters.

"Don't squeal with your mouth open." Karen's mom said, wiping her mouth. "Besides, you're too little right now. And what about Miss Nala? She can't fit on that ride."

"No, I can fit on that ride." Nala said, swallowing the bit of turkey leg in her mouth. "I just have no desire to go on that demonic ride. I'll sit with Karen while you go on."

"I heard you almost tore a cast member's arm off when he tried to get you off the last time." Donald said laughing. He stopped when he realized that _was_ something a scared witless lion would do.

"Keep talking duck, or I'll reenact it with you without the 'almost'." Nala said in a low growl of a whisper. Donald sat and ate quietly after that. Lunch actually went quietly until Olaf felt someone tapping his butt. He turned his head (literally, just his head) to find a two year old boy looking at him.

"I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs." the little boy said.

"Oh, my, goodness!" Olaf said, wide-eyed and looking at everyone. "I found another Olaf who likes warm hugs like me."

"Oh je…" Perdita said before Baloo interrupted her.

"Wait for it." the bear said.

"This must be the most magical thing I've seen happened at any Disney Park." Pooh said. Dopey nodded in excited agreement.

"Now" Baloo whispered to Perdita.

"Oh jeez." Perdita said, doing a bad job of not laughing as Pooh asked "Olaf 2" if he knew any other Winnie the Poohs.


	6. Let's Roll On Out

Chapter 6: Let's Roll On Out

Alanna and Fitzgerald found Karen and the Disney cartoons while they were watching the parade going through. All of the Disney cartoons growled at the beagle and robot orangutan until the pair apologized for kidnapping them and thanked them for their performance. With the air cleared (hey, the Disney cartoons really had nothing to do that day… although it'd be a smart move not to duplicate Alanna and Fitzgerald's moves), everyone spent the rest of the day with Karen and their family, including going to the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular.

"So, after this, Fantasmic." Alanna said to an excited Karen.

"Oh, I can't go." Donald said, disappointed. "I don't want to disappoint the kids when there's a Donald on stage and one in the audience."

"I'll hide you in my backpack." Karen said, perking Donald up as the lights dimmed.

The music started. A rumble was heard. Rocks fell from the ceiling, followed quickly by, sliding down a rope…

A woman dressed as Indiana Jones.

A _cartoon_ woman dressed as Indiana Jones.

As she lit her torch and the light shone on her face, everyone could see clearly…

It was Belle dressed as Indiana Jones.

The Disney cartoons who were involved with the Beauty and the Beast show glared at Alanna and Fitzgerald until they saw the surprise on their faces as well, as Belle told Alanna and Fitzgerald she was indeed busy that day (basically, the reason there were no _Beauty and the Beast_ characters in Alanna and Fitzgerald's _Beauty and the Beast_).

They then watched as Belle avoided the spears that shot from the ground (tripping as one that shot right under her foot), avoided getting hit by a falling axe, only to slip into the abyss (it wasn't deep since this was a stage show but she banged her knee), and making it to the alter with the golden idol. Visibly weary, Belle grabbed the idol and practically tossed Indiana's bag of sand on the spot. As in the movie and millions of performances before this, the alter sunk into the ground and the wall behind it started to crumble. Karen and the Disney cartoons in the audience jumped when Fitzgerald let out a yelp.

"Alanna, why are squeezing so hard?" Fitzgerald muttered under his breath.

"I did a spectra-analysis on the spears…" Alanna started.

"Of course." Fitzgerald said without sarcasm. "I'd have been worried if you hadn't."

"… those spears are real, just like that boulder." Alanna finished.

The cartoons in the audience looked in horror as the boulder got closer to Belle, the look of terror looking so real on her face. She fell forward and the boulder rolled by. Granted, that what happens to Indiana Jones during every performance with no injury, but the boulder wasn't real those times.

Olaf, who didn't understand the dangers giant boulders possessed, and the non-cartoon audience, who assumed the boulder wasn't real, were the only ones who didn't shield their eyes. It turned out be a good thing: the cartoons that looked away were able to hear the cheers and clapping, which alerted them that Belle was alive. Sure enough, Belle waved her hat to the crowd and bowed.

When the temple set opened to prepared for the market sequence, the cartoons saw a cartoon purple bat and flamingo being dragged away by Mickey's cat guards.

"How often had you been involved with cartoons bringing you guys here?" Fitzgerald asked Nala.

"Twice." Nala answered. "However, you guys were the first to try and make me walk on two legs."

"Are you ever gonna let that go?" Fitzgerald asked.

"That depends." Nala said. "You willing to part with some of your limbs?"

Fitzgerald stayed silent for the rest of the performance, which showed that Belle made a pretty good Indiana Jones and the Hulk made a pretty good and surprisingly pretty Marion Ravenwood.


End file.
